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A Beginners Guide to Swinging, Lifestyle and Kink

Updated: Jul 23, 2023

Did you know? The term key party originated in the 70’s - after couples at parties would throw their keys into a bowl, and take home whoever’s keys they ended up with.

Did you know? That the universal symbol for swingers is an upside down pineapple?

I have been in the lifestyle now for 6 years - and I once - had these questions, myself. I remember googling "how to find a threesome" and scouring the internet for resources on where I might be able to find myself stumble into one casually, researching the dynamics on how to ask, get it right, things to know.

And the thing is - there are many ways to explore, learn and cultivate an open lifestyle with yourself and your partner(s). The first lifestyle party I went to, I met a really awesome couple - and the wife sat me down and told me "don't do anything you're not into. You can say no. You can try it later. You can tell your partner no. You can watch, you can think about it, but you do not need to do anything to start - and the less expectations you have, the less you'll worry about them, and the more fun you will have.

That was some really solid advice someone gave me - that I would totally pass on to the next person looking to explore a consensual non monogamous lifestyle.

Here are also some of the best resources I have found to help me on my journey.

Educate yourself - listen to podcasts, read books and learn from others experienced in the lifestyle.

Open Love 101: How to approach a couple at a swinger club and party about swinging - hosts John & Jackie Melfie cover all the topics of the lifestyle a beginner should know - how to talk about playing in a club, dealing with resentment, the dos and dont's of swinging.

The Ethical Slut - buy now on Amazon "A practical guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and other Freedoms in Sex and Love". This sex positive guide to open relationships dynamics is filled with useful information, terms within the lifestyle and things to consider when exploring your sexuality and consensual non monogamous dynamics.

Sign up for a free profile at - lists and hosts events all around the country and different lifestyle destination events and cruises from across the world. Meet other members, find events and start making connections with other open minded people looking to connect.

Visit a lifestyle club - Many cities have lifestyle clubs where like minded people can mix, mingle, make connections and - well, hook up. There is usually dancing, themed parties and icebreakers for members to get to know each other, and a separate area for those who want to further take their connections.

Attend a lifestyle event or hotel takeover - Join in on a lifestyle or kink event. These private usually members only events are a good way to meet others looking to kick back and make similar connections.

Plan a trip to a lifestyle resort - spend a week or maybe more at a resort designed for exploring the lifestyle and making connections. These sexy resorts cater to adults and couples in the lifestyle, making every part of the experience from decor to nightly themes an intimate and memorable experience

Check out Hedonism Jamaica All Inclusive Resort

Sail away on a swingers cruise...

Spend a few days at sea with a few hundred like minded guests and see where the week takes you. These private all inclusive cruises include food, dining, sexy world renowned entertainment and performances all to set the mood.

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